I actually have a pretty good life. It's what I know and I have also been told. Sometimes I forget to tap into the greatness and the gratefulness that I know dwells within my heart and mind. I do believe I am someone who is afraid of success. I've thought this over many times over the years. I never saw myself learning more to do in life. I'm not someone who has had many jobs in my life. I worked as a nursing assistant since I was 18yrs. Before that, I worked in a kitchen as a dietary aid. AND before that I worked at 2 different restaurants. So truthfully, my whole life has been about helping others, putting others first. And of course when I started my family.. No one could argue about who came first in my house.. Yes, it was the children. I can no longer do the work I use to.. Taking care of people is no longer an option. I have a huge job just caring for myself. However It does seem strange to not have anyone to care for or about. Don't get me wrong, I care about people! especially my family, but they don't need me making decisions for them anymore. I once made decisions for people, on a small scale.. but nonetheless I was helpful to them. Helping them decide what was going to be done to facilitate the night/evening/day. When my life did a 180.. I feel as if yes, it went backwards. I was now in the role of having decisions being made for me. I felt so powerless. My self esteem was never that great, and my decline in life did not help. But here I am 3 yrs in, cancer free! ready to rock my life again. It's as if God gave me a do over. And he has placed tools and people in my life to help me grow up.. all over again.
Thank you for dropping by!💙
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