The last super

Yesterday I cooked, and when I cook I normally have pieces of leftover vegetables.  Depending on the vegetables I'll either blend and drink them, salad them or soup them.  Well  I made soup, and decided I needed some beef to add.  So my son took me to the store.. He waits in the car.  I was smart!  I knew I didn't feel right.. so I decided to ride the cart (You know those carts most stores have) Just to be safe.  Long story short..  I had a horrible anxiety attack.  Perhaps it was even panic!  I rode my cart up to the checker, got off the cart and told the lady I was sick.  She thought maybe I needed to split.. Leave.  I laid my head down on the counter and told her I was sorry.  Then thought to myself, I NEED this beef!  and of course I had more than beef..  Some other things I'd been needing.. not much  But not just the beef!

As I held my head down, she rang up my things.  Once I saw the price I handed her some money and begin to walk away;  As I was walking away,  I told the lady my son was in the car and I'd send him in for my bag.  She insisted on walking me to the car and she carried my bag.  I felt faint and nauseous,  I got home and had dry heaves.  I was moaning then started to cry..  I thought to myself, IS THIS IT?  am I going to join Elizabeth!? - Sanford & Son 

My son knew better than to stay, He dropped me off and left, he didn't want to witness what was surely to be a night of crying and uncertainty.  I knew I was alone, just me and the lord.  I begged the lord to hold me, as my heart felt like it would beat right out of my chest.  At that point I started calling anyone that would pick up.  I reached a friend.. and that was all the medication I needed.  She talked me down from that cliff I was almost to fall off.   

Sometimes there is no rhyme nor reason for anxiety.  It just shows up! out of nowhere.  I suppose I've invited it, a time or 6.  Doing too much, not getting my sleep.. Just not focusing on my inner self.   I've been lead to believe I can control it..  I do try.  But so far all I seem to be able to control is how I handle it when it comes. I've yet to master the skill that keeps it at bay.  

If you're like me.. I feel your pain! strength💪 is all we have🙏🙌 💃 Always reach out.  It truly is the best medication, and it's instant. 😀

Thank you for stopping by!💙